Zombie Survival Skills: Building A Fire Without Giving Away Your Location (The Dakota Fire Pit)

So, presumably you’d like to be warm, since being cold sucks donkey nuts.  The problem, of course, are the hordes of undead walking around seeking brains from which to carve a snack.  You’ve got to have fire, but you’ve also got to be on the down low about it.  I’ve got a solution for you.  It’s called a Dakota Fire Pit.  Peep the knowledge:

First, dig a hole about twelve inches deep and wide.  Then, dig another hole about six inches wide a couple of feet away and in the direction of the prevailing wind.  Connect the two underground using your trowel, or a stick, or something.  It’s a frigging zombie apocalypse people, use your imagination.  It should look like this:

Dakota Fire Pit

I don’t actually recommend hanging your socks over your soup, but you get the idea.  The advantages of the Dakota Fire Pit are numerous.  First, you get concealable fire.  That’s a no-brainer.  Secondly, since the fire is contained and beneath ground, and it’s being fed by a restricted air flow, the fire will consume less fuel.  That’s helpful if there isn’t much to work with, or if you’re too lazy to gather a bunch of wood.

Yet another benefit is that the fire will burn much hotter than an above-ground fire.  It will heat water faster, cook meals better, etc.  You’ve essentially mimicked the design of those fancy new cooking contraptions they’ve come up with now, or rather they’ve mimicked the design of the good ole Dakota Fire Pit.

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About Juan Verde

Juan Verde is former military, although the nature and thrust of his missions are highly classified. Suffice it to say if the world ends tomorrow, Verde will be the one low crawling through your front yard to steal your pork and beans from the garage shelf where you keep canned goods. Selah.

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