Zombie Survival Skills: Dealing With Hypothermia

hypothermiaTo build a fire, or not to build a fire, that is the question. It’s a fairly simple debate in most instances of survival.  If you can build a fire you should.  However, when the plains are swarming with mobs of undead looking to munch upon your brains you’ve got to be slightly more tactical about things.

As a general rule, as long as nobody is in emergency territory, you should just be content with being a bit cold.  I’ve got a few tricks you can use to keep warm:

1. Eat closer to bedtime. You body needs fuel in order to generate heat.  Think about it.

2. Build a fort. Remember how you used to do this when you were a kid? Using household crap? Do it now. The smaller the area you are inside, the less distance the dispersing heat can travel from your body, and the better your chance of staying warm. There’s a reason why homeless people sleep in refrigerator boxes.

3. Use the 3 W’s. Wicking, Warming, and Wind. Your local boyscout troop can school you on this one. When layering clothing, the first layer should wick moisture away from the skin. Think athletic socks, or long underwear. The less moisture that touches your skin, the warmer you’ll feel. The next layer on top of that should be about generating warmth. Wearing fleece, wool, or any other thick material made to keep you toasty should do the trick. The last is wind, as in keeping it away from you. A wind and waterproof shell will keep unwanted moisture and wind chill away from your skin. Many companies like The North Face and Columbia make jackets and coats that incorporate the warmth and wind layers together. Not a bad prepper item to purchase.

But, let’s say it’s too late. How do you know when you’re dealing with hypothermia?

Tips for diagnosing hypothermia:

1. Got a thermometer? Maybe you should get one. They don’t all require batteries, you know. If your core body temp is below 95 degrees, you’re in a world of shit. However, 96 or 97 degrees is also cause for concern.

2. Watch for the “umbles.” Mumbles, grumbles, stumbles, and fumbles. These are clues that your motor skills are suffering, and it means you’re solidly fucked if you don’t get warm in short order.

3. The medical signs. People who are slipping into hypothermia will be hypertensive (high blood pressure) and tachycardia (fast heart beat) at first. Once they’re deep into hypothermic conditions, these indicators will often reverse. Their blood pressure will drop and their heart will slow. Don’t be fooled. Your friend is in big trouble.

If you’re demonstrating these symptoms, the risk-reward analysis for building a fire might just be changing.  I’m assuming you have the means to build a fire here, and were neglecting to build a fire solely as a result of the tactical situation. If you don’t have the capability to make fire, it might be time to raid somebody who does. Just a thought.

Being A Prepper Apparently Makes You A Murderer

At least that’s that the Washington Post is insinuating in this article. I frankly never read the leftist nonsense from the Washington Post as a rule.  It’s bleeding-heart nonsensical liberalism at it’s worst.  However, since we were linked-to and mentioned in the article, I figured I’d respond.

First, and I can’t believe I’m still trying to explain this to grown ups, “zombies” are a metaphor.  A metaphor, for those of you who went to crappy, overpriced liberal arts colleges, is when you use one thing as a proxy for another thing.  In this case, I’m using zombies as a proxy for the end of the world by any means because, frankly, it’s more entertaining and the SEO is better.

Second, and this is the big one, being a ‘prepper’ or a ‘survivalist’ doesn’t make you a murderer.  I’m sure you’d like to outlaw prepping and survivalism and guns and bad people but that wouldn’t change anything.  Bad people would still murder folks using knives or rocks or sticks, or by pushing them off a cliff.  You get the point.  Or maybe you don’t, which is why I have to write this in the first place.

Three Ways to Keep Your House In Tact During The Zombie Apocalypse

If your home is your castle, you’re going to want to pay attention. Why did people stop building castles in medieval times?  Because the materials they were using (mostly stone) became inferior to the technology being applied to seizing them.  Gunpowder essentially put an end to the castle.  Here are three technological advancements that can keep you in your castle a bit longer should the zombies start walking.

Invest in fiberglass shingles. Fiberglass roof shingles are an evolution of fiberglass technology, initially developed in the 1930s. The product is made with thin glass fibers made from silica which are bonded together in a process which about seven people on Earth understand, but here’s what you need to know. The material is basically fireproof. It won’t rot either. In most cases, it can be warrantied from 30 years to your lifetime in some instances. And, oh, gee whiz, it costs less too.

Build with steel.  We’re not talking about bullshit rebar either.  We’re talking about the type of backbone you can get from good folks like the ones at Armstrong Steel. Build a home.  Build a bunker.  Build with steel.  It’s strong, durable, and not easily broken, which can be of great benefit when you’ve got a zombie horde pouncing on top of your house.

Bullet-proof your windows.  It’s great for stopping actual bullets, but it will also deter zombie head butts.  Just ask Will Smith how problematic those can be.  With the advancing of technology, bulletproof glass films and windows are cheaper than ever.  Now might be the time to spring for an upgrade.